I am just having a really hard time telling the difference between opportunities and obligations. Here's a list of everything that I have on my plate right now:
Mother to two, brilliant, active, little and medium kids
I just don't know how to say 'no.' I know how to say '...well, I don't want to let you guys down, but...,' and 'I just really don't think I can, but I'll try...,' and 'well, ok...I guess until you can find someone else....' While all of these thing contain the proper vowel and consonant selections to form the word 'no', somehow a lot of other letters crash the party and I end up with a blood shot eyes and constantly clinched teeth. No, seriously, I'm having terrible headaches because I'm loosing sleep over my schedule these days. I don't go to bed anymore...I just lie on a mattress and download. That's it. Even when my brain manages to reach a RIM sleep level, I'm still working... planning... organizing... revamping... rearranging... spell checking... scheduling.
But how do I know what my real fearless leader wants for me? I feel like God is definitely preparing me for something so I can't just go around saying "yes" to the things I want and "no" to the things I don't; He may have something entirely different in His Will for me.
I felt like he very clearly told me the other day that I am suppose to commit to the things he has equipped me for...I mean, he has prepared me for a purpose. So I can continue moving at this fast pace, but I need to be moving with Him in the right direction. If this is happening He will give me peace. I believe that all of these leadership roles at church and with my group are on par with His plan for me.