Tuesday, July 24, 2007

What A Weak!

I am exhausted. In the last month I have bitten off way more than I can chew....which is funny because the sermon series at church this month is all about simplifying your activities, and I swear I was listening...I mean, when I wasn't balancing my checkbook or updating my day timer.

I am just having a really hard time telling the difference between opportunities and obligations. Here's a list of everything that I have on my plate right now:

Mother to two, brilliant, active, little and medium kids
New webmaster and web designer for GCRW
New newsletter editor for GCRW
Thursday morning theology student of Ally's
I run Archizilla, a dot com, from home
Saturday shift volunteer at Hope Resource Center of McKinney
Table talk leader for Coffee Talk
P.E.A.C.E. group leader
Founder, speaker, janitor for New Wave Femmes
Occasional shower taker

How did I get myself into all of this?...well, I mean I know how I got into the first, and bottom three, but...

I just don't know how to say 'no.' I know how to say '...well, I don't want to let you guys down, but...,' and 'I just really don't think I can, but I'll try...,' and 'well, ok...I guess until you can find someone else....' While all of these thing contain the proper vowel and consonant selections to form the word 'no', somehow a lot of other letters crash the party and I end up with a blood shot eyes and constantly clinched teeth. No, seriously, I'm having terrible headaches because I'm loosing sleep over my schedule these days. I don't go to bed anymore...I just lie on a mattress and download. That's it. Even when my brain manages to reach a RIM sleep level, I'm still working... planning... organizing... revamping... rearranging... spell checking... scheduling.

I can either quote every other work-a-holic hard ass in the world and say, "I can sleep when I'm dead!" or I can obey my fearless Republican leader....Nancy Reagan and just say "NO!"

But how do I know what my real fearless leader wants for me? I feel like God is definitely preparing me for something so I can't just go around saying "yes" to the things I want and "no" to the things I don't; He may have something entirely different in His Will for me.

I felt like he very clearly told me the other day that I am suppose to commit to the things he has equipped me for...I mean, he has prepared me for a purpose. So I can continue moving at this fast pace, but I need to be moving with Him in the right direction. If this is happening He will give me peace. I believe that all of these leadership roles at church and with my group are on par with His plan for me.

Then we get to the GCRW's stuff. I am struggling with all of these tasks because I really don't know what I'm doing; I've not been equipped. It's like I'm juggling 15 apples, that's a lot, but hey, I'm an apple juggler, I can handle that....then suddenly someone throws in a banana. No matter how many apples I get rid off, that banana is still going to mess up the whole rhythm I have going...I am not a banana juggler.

All of my apples are falling and getting damaged due to this; I'm becoming the jack of all trades and master of none.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Soul For Sale

I finally broke down and got a MySpace for the group.

I loathe Myspace. They have trashy advertisements for singles dating services and Victoria Secret non stop, not to mention all of the porn vendors that caught on and now use MySpace as a way to scheme people into joining their sites. It's so contradictory to our message.

But after my last meeting, to which I will say, all 7 people (including myself) gave rave reviews...it's time to start pandering to the masses. I need members, I need to get the word out about the NewWaveFemmes.com, check your local listings, ha! So, indeed, IT IS DONE....He'd be turning over in his tomb right now...oh wait!...He's not there! Like how I just brought a little Easter Sunday to boring Tuesday. Your Welcome. I'll be here all week; please, tip your waitresses.

On a related subject, did you know that Satan has his own website?

If you do it let me know how it turns out....I'm devilishly curious.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

I'm Ready, I'm Ready, I'm Ready...

Guess you had to see that episode.....5 million times.....to know the melody that Sponge Bob sings with those words. I find that I can never simply say "I'm ready..."with out the whole silly SB impersonation now. Who said motherhood didn't have its perks?!?

Either way, it rings true today. My first official New Wave Femmes meeting is tonight, and I'M READY! I woke up a bit anxious and feeling a little unprepared, but in an attempt to get down on paper what exactly the goal of the group is, I found inspiration in such a quirky place, the Planned Parenthood website.

I realized that they really do make your life simpler, because now I don't have to write a mission statement of my own; I can just steal theirs! And replace all of the "We are not's" with "We are's"!

Like take this one for instance:

"We are not going to be an organization promoting celibacy and chastity." ~Faye Wettleton, President of PP

"We are going to be an organization promoting celibacy and chastity." ~Destiny Herndon-DeLaRosa, Founder of NWFfl

Piece of cake! Who ever thought I'd benefit so much from a bunch of dried up old, aryan, bigots?

I am so excited! I really feel like I have some great stuff to present tonight, and I can't wait to get up there and take one step closer to my future as a 'not completely terrified' public speaker!

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Tears For Fears

When is the last time you cried

for the unborn,

the preborn,

the never gonna be born?

When is the last time that you let what's going on in this country break your heart?

We guard ourselves because when we look at the numbers it's just too much to handle...too much to change.

I try so hard to fight this feeling of overwhelming insignificance in the battle for Life that I rarely take the time to cry out to God. Literally. Truly ache for these precious children.