I wish this was my real father...

We just have so much in common.



He thinks censorship is the *$%@#! too. They had this statue in the Justice Department's Great Hall covered up for his press conferences. Yes, I can certainly see some family resemblances.

Richard Edward Knight

So I called my father today. Not my "dad," but the man who gave me half of my chromosomes.

Aiden and I were watching a show on kids who went out looking for their estranged parents this afternoon, and even as hormonal as I am I was proud that I made it all the way up until the end before I burst into wild 'I want to know MY sperm donor' tears when this one girl was reunited with her long lost brother. It was such an amazing moment, and even though I don't believe my biological father has ever been married, who's to say that he hasn't bastardized other children out there.

I lost the only sibling I had 3 years ago and nothing will ever take his place, but part of me still longs for even a knock off version of that special sibling relationship.

I checked MySpace first. Here's what I found:





These were the only two who went to The University of Texas at Austin during the right time frame and that are the correct age. Is it wrong that I hope it's the latter, if either?

Anyway, after MySpace turned up disappointing I used one of those spy search engines. Five minutes and $9.95 later I was looking at his current address and phone number. I didn't give my nerves a chance to get to me; I just picked up the phone and called. The first number was disconnected and my heart sank a lot lower than I thought it would. But the second worked.

Before I knew it I was listen to, what I'm pretty sure was, my father's voice on his answering machine. "Hey, you've reached Richard, please leave a message and I'll call you back."

So, I did.

Tell me exactly what degree of psychotic you think I sound like here:
"Hi Richard, this is Destiny Herndon...I'm not actually sure that I have the right Richard Knight or not, but if I do than you know why I'm calling. I would like to talk to you so please give me a call when you have a moment..."

Who in their right mind would return that message?!?!....probably only the first guy from MySpace.

I bet he thinks I need him to bail me out of jail or co-sign on a car loan. But all I really want is a picture. I'm sick of being so white trash that I can't tell you what my mom's baby daddy even looks like. And I want to know if I'm as alone as I feel when it comes to brothers and sisters....maybe I should have just said that.

Either way, I've decided to name this entry after him, because if I'm correct and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, than I'm sure he's just as narcissistic as I am and will Google himself one day and it will lead him to my blog.....where he will really be scared off and NEVER want to contact me, but at least I will deserve it that time! (:

My charade is the event of the season...

I hate hormones. Don't get me wrong, I've always cried at Hillary Duff movies...my deepest darkest secret...but now even episodes of Lizzie McGuire are choking me up. And it's not a good cry either, it's more like a 'you have got to be kidding me, dry it up wuss' type of cry. Like you know how ridiculous you look while in the midst of it.....then you're just left riddled with shame....maybe I should start writing dark pregnant poetry....Abrahm asked me the other day (half joking, and yes, over a fully inappropriate subject matter) if I had the baby blues, and if I had thought of hurting the kids lately. Without hesitation I emphatically replied 'of course.' But in all fairness Eiffel is almost two.

Merry Choicemas!

Beyond Feminism, Back To Reality

I'm reading a particularly powerful book right now by Mary Pride, entitled 'The Way Home.' I have a feeling that I'm really going to enjoy it based on this first paragraph. I will share a little bit of it with you:

"Today's women are the victims of the second biggest con game in history. "Women's" magazines follow in the footsteps of Playboy and Hustler, degrading us to the level of unpaid prostitutes by glamorizing uncommitted sex."

I've never looked at it this way before, but oddly enough it seems so blatantly true.

Cosmo's pages constantly preach the gospel of 'Call Girl Sex' and 'Give Him What He Likes' techniques to any young, naive, teenage girl who'll waste $3.95 on their gas station garbage. Tutoring them on how to perform x, y and z to their man's liking, how to dress to impress every swine at the Saturday night meat market, and how to use their sex appeal to get ahead in the workforce.

I mean, duh, of course a man probably suggested, if not wrote most of these check out line attention grabbers!


Filling the minds of today's adolescent girls with this morally corrupt information produces tomorrow's generation of easy to bed, early to get a rise females for their hedonistic playground.

If it's true that men our visual and women are verbal than I say this smut should be put in a brown paper bag too.

It’s Perfectly Inappropriate

WASHINGTON, D.C. – “How can anyone claim that this book is appropriate for 10 year olds?” asked Jim Sedlak, vice-president for American Life League. “First, pixilated images and excerpts of the book were rejected by a state prison, and now video-streaming sites are censoring the content of a video containing those pixilated images as well.”

Sedlak was referring to the Planned Parenthood endorsed book, It’s Perfectly Normal, by Robie Harris. A few months ago, a Washington State Prison rejected a letter that included censored images from the book for being “sexually explicit” and “obscene.” Last week American Life League posted a video report on several streaming-video sites exposing the content of the book, which is aimed at 10 year old children. The video report was removed from vidilife.com, sharkle.com, and hi5.com for “inappropriate content,” and flagged on metacafe.com for viewers over 18.

“What an irony that censored content from a book intended for 10-year-old children is rejected by a prison, removed from video-streaming sites, and flagged for viewers over the age of 18,” said Sedlak. “We actually have no objection to the actions of the online sites and the prison. We agree that this is not appropriate content.”

“We are calling for libraries, schools and parents all across the country to take similar action,” Sedlak concluded, “Planned Parenthood should be denied access to our children at all times. The material it promotes is totally inappropriate and could be harmful.”

American Life League’s video report can be viewed here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuUmsZYWnrs

Counter Coulter

Why can't I stand this lady?

She's outspoken, opinionated, and REPUBLICAN!!! I mean, she should be my role model, right?

Something about her just rubs me the wrong way....maybe it's the knees.

haha, I found this blog entry and thought it was spot on:

http://www.thetruebeliever.org/2006/10/appropriate_con.html

Santa Fe....................ke.

Tonight Aiden asked (for the hundredth time) a 'So, if Santa's real, then why does....'

And.........tonight, I broke my silence.

I simply proposed one thought; "Aiden, don't you think it's weird that you ask me so many questions about whether Santa is real or not?"

And to that, he replied, 'hmmm, yeah'. And from that point the monumental milestone...childhood stealing...'you can never take this back'....conversation began.

Aiden was very cool about it.

I told him that Santa IS real...or at least he was; and because he was such an amazing guy, when he died, ALL PARENTS in the world were aloud to have a little piece of him; and each Christmas WE get to be HIM! We get to sneak down stairs and put presents under the tree, and eat all the delicious cookies and milk that are left for him. He was surprisingly o.k. with this explanation. No tears, no trauma....I think.

PLUS, when I told him that not all of his friends were privy to this information so we probably should not tell them, he said that he agreed and 'wouldn't ruin it for them.'...yes, I chose to ignore the implacatation that I "ruined it for him."

By the way, I did confirm that Jesus was still very real by adding, 'Hey, Jesus, though, he's a different story; he's totally legit. Do you still believe in him?" to which he replied an energetic "yes."....disturbingly though, when I asked if Santa was still alive earlier in the conversation he had said "No....he died, but then he rose again to deliver gifts."....wrong story. We straightened that out though, don't worry.

I love my family sooooo much.

Galatians 6:9

Let us not become weary in doing good.

Julie did one of those sweet, annoying things yesterday where she pretended like she wasn't coming with me to work our booth just so that she could show up and surprise me. (:

"Donations"

Have you ever wondered how Planned Parenthood receives so much money in donations each year? ($212.2 million to be exact)

I mean, they already get $305.3 million from our government annually, so they are hardly a shabby little charity....

I guess I always assumed that donated money must have come from some kooky, rich, confused, old "feminists," but as it turns out, that is not the case at all.

A close friend of mine was telling me that when she found out she was pregnant with her son she had to get an official 'Proof of Pregnancy' document before she would be able to apply for Medicaid...and SURPRISE SURPRISE, PP wasn't giving out any freebies. They told her when she scheduled the appointment to make sure she brought $40 in cash with her to the clinic.

After she was seen and received her p.o.p. she went up to the counter to check out. The woman at the desk proceeded to tell her how much she had saved on this visit because she qualified for some of 'their' generous government grants (part of the $305.3, I'm sure) and that if she hadn't received those discounts (lucky, lucky her) she would have owed PP over $500! But instead, thank the Lord above, her visit today came to just twelve dollars...."oh, and by the way, since you saved SO much money with us today, would you like to make a donation?"

The nerve.

By their own definition they are a NON PROFIT medical facility, there to reach out to POOR WOMEN!

Would a food pantry ever ask you for a donation on your way out the door? I should think not! Or, how about a homeless shelter? I highly doubt it. And why is that?....because they are non-profits....not big businesses.

This is how it should be done...

With Love, Not Fear:

So, how was the Truth Strike you ask....

You know, until just a few minutes ago I wasn't too sure. Honestly, protesting the race kind of made me feel like crap. We were cheering these women on and most of them did seem to get that we weren't protesting them (I was holding a giant sign that said "Your hearts in the right place, but your money isn't -www.pinkmoney.org"). But at the same time I had my doubts when one emotional woman came up to the guy I was with and asked 'how many people in your family have died of breast cancer?' she wouldn't listen to what we were telling her (that we want a cure too, just not at the cost of causing more breast cancer cases through abortion) and so I just loved on her and told her that we supported her. There were a few times though that I just wanted to head for the hills. But low and behold I guess it was worth it since we made Fox 4 news, and now numerous people know that Susan G. Komen donates money to PP.

http://www.myfoxdfw.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail;jsessionid=A12666E0A697A9F4AA24FD479EC7D229?contentId=4648576&version=27&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=1.1.1&sflg=1

Go to the grey side bar box and click the video on the bottom left corner. We're at the very end, and they even used my quote about how we commended their activist spirits!

Final Draft (feedback requested)

So, if I were to stand up here and use the "N" word; would any of you have a problem with that?

What if I used a few derogatory female slurs; would that be o.k.?

No! Of course not!

We live in a world that is so Politically Correct that something like that would never be tolerated, and yet so Morally Bankrupt that other horrific acts against the unborn minority are a 'right' that we should fight for?

One of the first things that comes to my mind when I hear the word Oppression is Abortion.

The definition of Oppression is: the exercise of authority or power in a burdensome, cruel, or unjust manner; the act of subjugating by cruelty.

That sure sounds like abortion to me. Whether these precious babies are black, white, red, yellow, male or female, is not what makes them so susceptible to oppression. It's their lack of strength; their inability to fight for themselves; their need for nurturing and dependency on their mothers...all of the same inherent traits God gave us to bond us to our mothers, our society uses as an excuse to kill these human beings! We are telling God that WE will decide which instincts to embrace and WE decide which instincts to ignore!

I don't know about you, but I try not to tell the Divine Creator of the Universe how to do His job.

When I was 16 years old I became pregnant. And the world told to tell me that the only way I would ever achieve success in my life was to have an abortion. But I knew better, I knew better because my God had told me so. What the world labeled as a curse, He called a blessing.

Deuteronomy 30:19-20 “Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. (HEAVEN AND EARTH WILL WITNESS THE CHOICE YOU MAKE!) Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!

Did you know that while a female fetus is still growing in her mothers womb, at 6 gestational months, she develops the eggs that will someday help create that mother's grandchildren? There is far too much thought and masterful creation put into these babies for them not to be called Human Beings! Abortion does not only end one life, it puts a stop to the potential descendants that God tells us about here in Deuteronomy; the future generations that could cure AIDS, Cancer, and Famine. Let's not just run and fund raise for these things, let's give life to those who will cure them!

In 2005, Dallas County alone reported 211,183 abortions were performed. We are ranked 18th out of the 254 other counties in Texas. Eighteenth! I doubt many people know that; so what an amazing opportunity we have to get out there and activate our community!

As we go back out into the cold, callused world, remember, you are not just fighting the good fight against abortion, you are also fighting the good fight against moral injustice and wide spread oppression! The hour is upon us! And I truly believe God has been waiting in anticipation for this generation to proclaim His Truth; He has been waiting for you! You are the ones called to end this holocaust, to change the direction of YOUR generation! Stand up to Planned Parenthood and tell them:

WE WILL NOT BELIEVE YOUR LIES!

WE SEE THROUGH YOUR LAME ATTEMPT TO HAVE US KILL OUR YOUNG JUST TO LINE YOUR POCKETS!

AND YOU WILL NOT SILENCE OUR MESSAGE!

Before I leave I want to share a Psalm with y'all. To me this is a prayer that we should have locked away in our hearts, not just during 40 Days For Life, but as long as abortion is still legal.

Psalm 5 reads:

1 O Lord, hear me as I pray;
pay attention to my groaning.
2 Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God,
for I pray to no one but you.
3 Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord.
Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.
4 O God, you take no pleasure in wickedness;
you cannot tolerate the sins of the wicked.
5 Therefore, the proud may not stand in your presence,
for you hate all who do evil.
6 You will destroy those who tell lies.
The Lord detests murderers and deceivers.

7 Because of your unfailing love, I can enter your house;
I will worship at your Temple with deepest awe.
8 Lead me in the right path, O Lord,
or my enemies will conquer me.
Make your way plain for me to follow.

9 My enemies cannot speak a truthful word.
Their deepest desire is to destroy others.
Their talk is foul, like the stench from an open grave.
Their tongues are filled with flattery.
10 O God, declare them guilty.
Let them be caught in their own traps.
Drive them away because of their many sins,
for they have rebelled against you.

11 But let all who take refuge in you rejoice;
let them sing joyful praises forever.
Spread your protection over them,
that all who love your name may be filled with joy.
12 For you bless the godly, O Lord;
you surround them with your shield of love.

AMEN!

Prayer

As some what of novas prayer peddler, what with the solicitation of 40 Days For Life now under my belt, I thought it was about time to really define what the essence of 'Prayer' is, to me.

To me prayer is the ultimate act of submission. It is saying 'Ok God, here it is; I'm ready for help.'

Just as our children often times try to impress us with their independent 'watch what I can do all by myself' attitude, we too do that same thing to our Heavenly Father. And likewise, as we nervously smile at their feeble attempts and fight that impulse to jump in and save the day, He does as well. I'll confess I have to physically stop myself from taking over when it comes to Aiden and Eiffel and their many endeavors...reading, writing, pouring milk straight from the gallon....all of these things would be so much better, and cleaner for that matter, if I just did them myself!

But of course, I can't, because we learn in the messes. He allows us that same lead way, with the comfort of knowing that no mess is too big for him to come over and wipe up.

As a control freak I have to admit, I like giving up sometimes. I enjoy letting the Lord carry my burden...I just think of it as a spiritual diet. After prayer we should feel lighter, we should feel more obedient, and we should feel closer to the Creator of the Universe.

The "Lesser of Two Evils"...

is a crock.

I WILL NOT VOTE FOR EVIL...

of any amount.

PLEASE HELP PLANNED PARENTHOOD

Dear Sir or Madame,

I am writing you today to make you aware of the astonishing number of impoverished children, right here in America, that are forced to grow up without adequate levels of pornography in their households.

I know, it's hard to believe in 2007 that this is still an issue, right? You would think that we have made enough social advances in the world of advertising and cable television to fully satisfy this basic carnal need, but I am here to inform you that NO, WE HAVE NOT!

Many of these children have no internet access whatsoever in their households and are constantly being forced to learn about sex from their PARENTS of all people! You, as well as I, know that this must come to an end!

I encourage you, please, write you local congressman and ask them to increase the measly $305.3 million dollars a year that the government donates to this wonderful non-profit organization.

I mean, honestly, what can you do with a mere $305 million dollars? After performing 264,943 abortions in one fiscal year there is barely anything left for the phenomenal SEX ED classes they offer.

Did you know that there is ONLY a 27% chance of becoming pregnant if you use the 'pull out method?' Exactly! Neither do many of OUR children, and that is just not right. They should have full access to these helpful medical breakthroughs!

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/birth-control-pregnancy/birth-control/withdrawal.htm

More funding is pertainent! It is the only way that they can continue to provide books like "It's Perfectly Normal," (which feature 71 excellent nude drawings) to our urban communities. Believe it or not, there are still some 10 year olds out there who know NOTHING about how cool homosexuality and masturbation are!

Without adequate amounts of pornography these children are 76% more likely to attend church, they are 90% less likely to become sexually active and experience the joys of commitment free sex, and in turn, these poor kiddos may never get to know the magical, life altering milestone of abortion! Atrocious.

DO NOT LET YOUR CHILD BECOME A STATISTIC.

Yours For Money,
Destiny Herndon-DeLaRosa
Assistant Planned Parenthood Informant


P.S. Donations can also be made through the Susan G. Komen Foundation.

P.S.S. All of the statistics and amounts shown in this letter are accurate and factual, with the exception of the very last paragraph....but I have a feeling those are pretty close. (:

It's Perfectly Pornagraphic!

No matter how much Planning goes into Parenthood, there's always a billion dollar non-profit waiting to corrupt your kids.

FROM STOPlannedParenthood, A SECTOR OF AMERICAN LIFE LEAGUE:

Planned Parenthood's 'Nobody's Fool' conference pushes pornographic sex book on children.

"Planned Parenthood has continued its assault on the lives and sensibilities of our children by conducting its 'Nobody's Fool' 2004 conference in Waco, Texas, yesterday," said Jim Sedlak, executive director of American Life League's STOPP International. "From start to finish, this conference was a thinly veiled attack on parental rights, public morality, and the health and well-being of our children."

Parents were not allowed to attend this conference with their children; it was open exclusively to children in the fifth through ninth grades (ages 10-14). "Planned Parenthood barred mothers and fathers from attending the actual sessions because Planned Parenthood knows that parental participation would have hampered the its efforts to indoctrinate these children into its world of lies and propaganda," observed Sedlak.

Children in grades seven through nine also received a free copy of the book, It's Perfectly Normal. "This so-called 'educational text' is nothing more than pornography in comic book form," stated Sedlak. "Planned Parenthood believes that it has the right to decide if our 12-14-year -old children should own a manual that contains detailed explanations on how to perform sexual acts and masturbation. These directions are accompanied by sexually explicit line drawings. This is irresponsible at best and child abuse at worst."

According to Sedlak, this problem will persist "until parents and all people of good will across the nation stand together to oppose Planned Parenthood's continued assault on our families and children."

FROM THE PP SITE:

What can be done to respond to grossly misleading claims like the one in the American Life League advertisement?

My response is that there is no response. I could spend all of my time responding to things that are said about my work that are not true. Or I can spend my time making sure that my books are up-to-date and the information is current, and I can continue speaking at schools ... and creating new books for kids.

I have no reason to defend my work because I'm proud of it. I do take great offense when the truth is not told about the content in my books. ... Part of our job description — my job, Planned Parenthood's job, librarians, and other adults — is standing up and saying that our kids and teens need comprehensive sex education to stay healthy.

FROM DESTINY FALWELL:

When I picked this book up I could hardly believe my eyes. The cover said 10+, and at the ripe old age of 24 believe me, I'm 'nobody's fool' but it was making me blush. Suddenly I felt as if I were in the back alley of some sleaze shop secretly thumbing through a dirty magazine...and isn't PP's goal to keep "us" out of back alley's, hmmm?

Every single page had a 'cartoon' rendition of something overtly sexual on it...well, every page that is, except for the ones covering abortion. Come on! Abortion is PERFECTLY NORMAL, right PP? So why not diagram it as well? Oh, too offensive? Interesting. I'm so glad to know that you draw the line somewhere.

My favorite "doodle" was on page 23 where a character is bending over while holding a mirror behind her; I believe this drawing would be called a "money shot."

Honestly, this book is nothing more than a myriad of juvenile doodlings that you'd likely find on the wall of some truck stop bathroom. Not only does it show detailed pictures of sex acts, masturbation, and homosexuality, but it tells you that a lot of Christians *ick* will say that this stuff is wrong, but it doesn't hurt anybody, kiddos! Now take your condom lollipop and go off and play in the street!

I do not know what kind of logical, intelligent, decent adult would ever advocate that this book is expectable, much less commendable, but they are out there...and it looks like they're working for USA Today, The New York Times, and even Parenting Magazine....mmmm, I love this time of year, you can just smell boycott in the air!

This book is absolute trash and I would go ape if anyone ever gave this filth to my child...but then again they wouldn't dare...after all, we are caucasian and above the poverty line; not quite their demographic.

If you must see it to believe it, here, but you've been warned...18 and over, please:
http://www.prolifewaco.org/documents/Normal4pages.pd

Life Chain 2007

I just love this picture so much.

Ranch Martyr

You throw tomatoes when someone tells a bad joke;

And I guess a tub of ranch dressing when somebody's praying to end abortion.

Yeah, laughable...it's ok. After the fact, I totally laughed too. I mean who does that?

Right after it happened I gathered some volunteers together and we prayed for the individual who did this. Something that violent (ranch pelting) must have come from a place of hurt.

Father, we just ask you to open this persons eyes and heart, Lord, to your mercy and your grace. You know their sins, and you died on a cross for them, Lord. Whatever it is that they are so angry about, we know you are so ready to forgive. We ask that you just place a hedge of protection around of the rest of the volunteers that will be out here for the next 31 days God. Above all we know that you are our protector Lord. Amen.

And then, I can't help but picture the scene in Saved (a movie I shouldn't of seen I know, but I love, b/c it totally convicts me every time I see it) where Mandy Moore is so angry and self righteous she's about to throw her Bible at someone in a fit of anger. And in another scene, she is praying for a "poor sinner" just so that she can feel superior and gossip about that person.

How many times was that 'ranch thrower' me? How many times have I hated my sin so much that I lashed out on others. Too many to count.

Pro-Life Memorial Day

Today we are kicking off "Respect Life Month!"

I had the pleasure of going back down to the Planned Parenthood site this morning with Eif in her sling. She was being extra cute as we prayed, giving me lots of hugs and kisses. Some angry woman pulled over and yelled at me but God must have put Holy earmuffs on me because I didn't hear a thing that she said. Do you ever notice how when you are doing God's Will you get that type of torment at first? I call it the 'fight in the car on the way to church' principle. I've come to almost look for those obstacles as a form of validation these days. (: The enemy doesn't waste time attacking things that mean nothing.

Add these to you calendar:

During "Respect Life" month, many churches conduct
local pro-life activities to help promote the Sanctity
of Human Life. Please do everything you can to help
promote and participate in these important activities!

Today, October 1, is recognized by many groups as
"Pro-Life Memorial Day" to remember the more than 48
million innocent children lost to abortion in America
since Roe v. Wade. Groups are holding candlelight
vigils, prayer services, and encouraging people to wear
pro-life t-shirts today. Get more info at:

http://www.prolifememorialday.com

Sunday, October 7, is the 20th nationwide Life
Chain, a peaceful and prayerful witness of Americans
standing for one hour praying for our nation. These
wonderful events will be held in hundreds of cities
across America and many 40 Days for Life locations are
participating in Life Chain as part of their efforts.
The founder and president of Life Chain, Royce Dunn,
has been one of the most vocal supporters of 40 Days
for Life and he is an amazing man of faith! Learn more:

http://www.lifechain.net

On October 23, people will give up their voices for
a day in solidarity for the children lost to abortion.
Red arm bands and duct tape will identify them as
taking part in the Pro-life Day of Silent Solidarity.
They will carry fliers explaining why they are silent
and educate others about abortion. Learn more at:

http://www.standtrue.com/pages/silent.htm

Many of the 3,000+ Christian pregnancy resource
centers around the country hold fundraising banquets
and events during this month. Please attend any of
these events held in your area and be as generous as
possible to help this crucial front-line work! Find a
pregnancy center near you by visiting:

http://www.pregnancycenters.org/advantage.asp

Let's make EVERY pro-life effort a huge success during
October, so 2007 can truly be the year that marks
the beginning of the end of abortion in America!

Cheap Date

Eiffel and Me--------->

I went on a date with my husband tonight and of course in the R-rated movie that we knew better than to see, it was necessary for a women to show her breasts for an extended period of time. I was furious! We really thought that this would be a genuinely good movie about a man living in the wild, alone, boobless, but no. HollyWOOD proved us wrong yet again!

I've never flashed my breast on a freeway, never tanned on a beach topless, never earned a cheap string of beads at Mardi Gra, but all of the sudden I had a strong urge to rip my shirt off and flash my breast feeders to the whole world! (they're nothing special believe me)

But why is it ok for this broads boobs to be flapping around on a 20 foot tall screen in front of MY husband, and if I were to do the same show and tell, and take my shirt off, and say to MY husband, 'no, no, please if you HAVE to see breasts, look at mine,' I would be arrested? It seems like a massive contradiction and complete load of crap if you ask me.

I love my husband. We walked out of the movie. He is amazing.

But it shouldn't have to be this way...we should be able to see a movie from time to time, and that's just not the case these days. At the same time I have to remind myself, WE ARE NOT THE WORLD.

Romans 12:2-Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Youth For Truth

I have the pleasure of speaking at the Youth For Truth Rally on Oct. 20th and would love some feedback on my speech. What do you like; what should I lose; what would capture you?

Keep in mind, I will be pounding my fist commandingly and pumping them in the air wildly as I say this:

If I were to stand up here and use the "N" word; would any of you have a problem with that?

What if I used a derogatory hispanic slur; would that be o.k.?

No! Of course not!

We live in a world that is so Politically Correct that that would never be tolerated, and yet so Morally Bankrupt that other horrific acts against minorities are a 'right' that we should fight for?

One of the first words that comes to mind when you say "racism" to me...is Abortion.

In 2005, Dallas County alone reported 211,183 abortions performed. We are ranked 18th out of the 254 other counties in Texas. Eighteenth! I doubt many people know that; so what an amazing opportunity we have to get out there and activate our community!

The definition of Racism is: the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others.

What is the only race that God gave that type of dominion to?

The HUMAN RACE! And from conception, these precious children are members of that human race!

Here's another definition: prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on a belief....perhaps a belief that because they are weak they are expendable?

That sure sounds like abortion to me. Whether they are black, white, red, yellow, or purple...the color of their skin is not the only thing that makes them a minority--their lack of strength; their inability to fight for themselves; their need for nurturing and dependancy on their mothers...all of the same inherent traits God gave us to bond us to our mothers are the same things our society uses as an excuse to kill these human beings! We are telling God that WE will decide which instincts to embrace and WE decide which instincts to ignore!

I don't know about you, but I try not to tell the Divine Creator of the Universe how to do His job.

As we go back out into this cold, callused world, remember, you are not just fighting the good fight against abortion, you are also fighting the good fight against moral injustice and wide spread racism! The hour is upon us! And I truly believe God has been waiting in anticipation for this generation to proclaim His Truth; He has been waiting for you guys! You are the ones called to end this holocaust, to change the direction of YOUR generation! Stand up to Planned Parenthood and tell them:

WE WILL NOT BELIEVE YOUR LIES!

WE SEE THROUGH YOUR LAME ATTEMPT TO HAVE US KILL OUR YOUNG JUST TO LINE YOUR POCKETS!

AND YOU WILL NOT SILENCE OUR MESSAGE!

Be Original

If you had to choose just one scripture to impact someone, which one would you pick?

....be original...no John 3:16

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

~Steven Wright

I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.
~E. B. White

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
~Ambrose Bierce

Women are like teabags. We don't know our true strength until we are in hot water!
~Eleanor Roosevelt

The great use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.
~William James

What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.
~Albert Pike

If it's natural to kill, how come men have to go into training to learn how?
~Joan Baez

There can be no equality or opportunity if men and women and children be not shielded in their lives from the consequences of great industrial and social processes which they cannot alter, control, or singly cope with.
~Woodrow Wilson

The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn't angry enough.
~Bede Jarrett

6 Years Ago Today...

The whole word grieved. I'll spare you the long, somber ode to those lost on September 11th. It has been done before, and by people far more qualified. While it did sadden me deeply, I know my own rendering of this event would not even scratch the emotional surface of what so many others went through on this day. I did not know anyone who perished, I had never even been to New York or the Pentagon at that time. While I was glued to the news coverage, as I imaging most of us were on that day and in the fateful days that followed, that was about as affected as I was by 9/11, 2001.

Instead, I will give you the only significant, personal account of this day that I have, and what it brings to the forefront of my mind each year:

On September 11th, 2004, I was the happiest that I had ever been. Life was finally beginning to make sense, and all of the puzzle pieces were starting to fall into place. The most amazing man had come into Aiden's and my life; we were all ridiculously happy. Blissfully, naively, frighteningly happy. Our joy was so untouchable.

I don't know about most people, but as an eternal pessimist I've certainly learned to dread this type of eerie perfection; the calm before the storm, if you will. Either way, on this particular day, that Murphian Law (why, yes...I did make that up) was so far from me it had not even scathed my psyche.

I was eagerly anticipating my upcoming nuptials and preparing to see all of my loved ones at my mother's house for my bridal shower.

I guess I should have seen it coming. Looking back on that day, at the glowing innocence that I still radiated, I was not ready for marriage. My baggage at this point in life was still far too light. But this would all soon change.

After a lovely afternoon that has since become nothing more than a blur to me, I returned home with a car full of gifts. This was it, the good times were finally ready to begin....and I had made it with only minimal bruising.

On my answering machine there was a message from my brother which I tried to return with no success and then another from my mom. She relayed that Derek wanted out of the wedding....something about not wanting to have to pay for a tux. As I blew it off I remember thinking that was so typically Derek, not sentimental in anyway, just cheap. It was only $60 bucks, but I guess to an 18 year-old that's enough to sacrifice sentiment.

Abrahm came over later that evening and fell asleep with Aiden on the couch. I remember looking at them, in the way cheesy Hallmark commercials portray it best, thanking God for bringing them both to me. As they slept I proceeded to unpack our gifts, assemble lamps, put away appliances, and play with an odd lotion and chap-stick making set that my grandmother probably impulsively bought at the checkout register and threw in with our gift.

I had peace. I had it and I didn't even know it. Peace is one of those odd emotions that you only recognize exists when it is violently ripped away from you; when it is too late; when it is gone.

And it was gone at 2am that morning.

The phone rang and I knew. Before my mother even started talking, I knew. Before she uttered Derek's name, I knew. She tried to lie to me and tell me he was probably fine...but I knew. My peace was gone. My soul mate was gone. My counterpart was gone. For someone who had everything just hours before I was now left with nothing. I was the loneliest person in the world...and I was so scared that Derek was the loneliest person not in the world.

As I rushed to get dresses I could not hold back the tears. While my mother had not told me anything too alarming on the phone, my spirit was telling me something entirely different the whole way to the hospital.

I lost who I was that night. I came out of that hospital a warped version of who I used to be. When your soul mates eyes are dead where else can you look to search for their soul?

Am I better today because of this, or just different? I don't know; is Derek better today because of this?

Perhaps he is finally there, perhaps he is happy. Today, 3 years later, I am certainly somewhere, and I do think I am happy. Just a different kind of happy.

In his personal effects was his wallet, and in his wallet was exactly $60. While I'm sure it was probably intended to be lavished on some worldly vices, I make myself believe it was for his tuxedo...and that makes me happy. Not the normal type of happy; the dark type of happy that I find comfort in these days....like finding a cute bandage for your stump, or a great deal on a wheelchair. I'm as happy as I can these days...and what's left of my heart is filled to them brim with joy.

My Best Friend Julie...

Today Julie was baptized. This was such a beautiful thing to witness. It's so amazing to watch God at work, to see him masterfully plan the future of one of his children and then lovingly bring them full circle so that he can begin to do amazing things through them. Julie is my hero. She is so strong but at the same time so kind and loving; she is brilliantly smart and incredibly quick-witted. I can not wait to see what God has planned for her; she has been equipped for great things. Mark my word, He's going to do something powerful through my friend Julie.

It's common for children to dedicate their lives to Christ while attending Sunday school; it's easy for youth to see their own weaknesses and ask God to walk with them, but once you become an adult, if you have not already made a profession of faith, statistics show, the likelihood is not good. Cynicism gets the best of you. When Julie started attending Grace she wasn't impressed; she wasn't sold; she wasn't going to just go along with the crowd...instead she studied, she learned, and she sought after this God that we spoke of, with such fervent hunger. I have never seen such an amazing transformation. When Julie finally excepted Christ as her savior there was no doubt in my mind that she was going to live out the rest of her days serving him with the same type of passion she put into finding him. I have never seen such true, genuine dedication in my life. Today was just one more step on her amazing path, and I am so honored to know her and call her my best friend.

Please Re-Post

http://www.ignitermedia.com/products/iv/singles/570/99-ballons

This is one of the most powerful testimonies that I have ever heard.

Abortion=Racism At Its Finest

Young Pilgrims

Have you ever buried a trauma in a song?...And then when you hear that song again it's almost like a day hasn't gone by.

I'm so amazed how this song, this melody, is capable of debilitating me....causing me actual, physical pain.

3 years ago when my brother died, the Shins had just come out with a new album. I listened to it night and day. I listened to it when I couldn't muster the courage to take one step out of my bed...I blared it from my car stereo while I got drunk at the tree he hit and sobbed myself into oblivion. I knew then that I would never be able to enjoy a song on that album ever.

Not that it was a band he ever liked, or even the type of music he listened to, it was just there--marking that devastating time period and now it's a sound from the darkness. A soundtrack to the deepest wound I've ever endured.

Abrahm accidentally played one of the songs this afternoon and I almost folded over in pain. Immediately the breathe was sucked right out of my lungs and my head was flushed with thousands of images and emotions. It was like he literally opened up a pandorain-death box and let it ravage my soul.

It sucks too, because the Shins are pretty awesome...here are a few of the verses...an ode to the song I will never love again.

A cold and wet November dawn
And there are no barking sparrows
Just emptiness to dwell upon.

But I learned fast how to keep my head up 'cause I
Know there is this side of me that
Wants to grab the yoke from the pilot and just
Fly the whole mess into the sea.

The Only Time Christ Got Angry Is When He Went To Church

Before I am a Christian, I am a Christ follower.

Often we get caught up in titles; doctrine; denominations.

Why is it so hard to find a church that follows the BIBLE?!?!?!?!?!

I am tired and weary. I want to follow Christ; I want to do his work, and more and more and I am disappointed by his appointed.

We look down on the Catholics because they are too ritualistic, too far away from God. But when was the last time we had reverence for the Lord?

What about his teachings and how we carry them out? No, no, we are far too PC to actually follow the Bible.

I am so disappointed with the churches input on the issue of Life. I am disgusted. I am infuriated. I am jealous. I am broken hearted.

Church is an institution.

I am a Christ follower. nothing more. nothing less.

Home Sour Home

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where something could either be the biggest blessing ever, given to you straight from God above, or the biggest curse/money pit/trap that's ever existed and it's just wrapped up in "blessing wrapping paper?"

Just like any good abusive relationship starts out, this house also, has to be one of the two.



It is so adorable, inexpensive, has a huge backyard, and is right across the street from the elementary school that Aiden would attend. (it does not help matters at all that I've invisioned sipping my coffee from the closed in porch while Eiffel and I wave as we watch him run off to school just as the sun is rising and angelic bursts of light bounce off of his golden hair, roughly 100 thousand times already) There are not many things that I do in true 'lady fashion' these days, but getting all emotional for a house is one of them....It's to the point where I may need to hire imaginary movers just to get my figments relocated. I am in love with this house.

But just like a sour relationship, this house too, has thrown up some red flags. And I find myself making almost, borderline, just barely, too many excuses for it. "Well, maybe it's been on the market so long, and dropped $5,000 bcause it was meant for us!" or "yeah, sure the floors kind of lean, and yeah, we may have to push the sofa back up to the wall once a day, but hey, this house has been here for 50 years! What could possible go wrong now?" or my personal favorite, "Smell? What smell?"

I love this house; Abrahm loves this house, but does God love this house for us, or are we simply lovestruck? We are both in prayer over it, and I personally am praying that if this is a lemon God shows me hands down, in my face, rotten beam hitting me over the head, what is wrong with it, because I know that's what it'll take.

The sad thing is, I don't even really want a house, not like Abrahm does at least. We have a really great apartment and I enjoy the freedom of not being a homeowner, I really, really do. But just like that first black eye followed by a sincere, genuine apology, this house has me hooked....I've never liked "bad boys" but I do sense a propensity towards "bad houses."

I would also just like to add...

Have you ever noticed that the Birthday song feels at least 10 minutes long when it is being sung to you?

...even longer, when there are flagrant arm motions involved?

The Summit Was To Die For Darling!

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

You know 3 days ago, as I was preparing for the leadership summit, I started to wonder, 'is it all really worth it?'

The ticket was kind of expensive, finding a sitter wasn't too easy, the drive was no fun, and just the valuable time that I was going to have to take out of my already busy schedule would be sorely missed and probably never made up.

So, here I sit, at the end of day two. And again I ask 'was it worth it'?

It was...by far....one of the best investments in my future that I could have made. The timing for this summit was perfect. And the money I'll save on Tylenol alone will be worth it, because these phenomenal leaders have saved me so many future headaches.

Yesterday Bill Hybel did a sermon entitled "Vision to Die for." Talk about God pounding a message into your head, er, sorry, I mean talk about God refining you...right Ally? Well, either way, this message spoke to me like no other. Would I die for my vision; that's easy, yes. Would anyone else die for my vision. ummmm, no. I have held on so tightly to this mission that seldom have I even let others attempt to participate in it.

So as I'm chewing over this concept in my head I begin to realize, 'hey, maybe dieing for this vision would be the best thing I could do for it!' My friends are all so passionate about me that they would probably rally around and carry on with great vigor and ambition-all in my memory. (this is a joke of course so please, don't call and tell Abrahm I need therapy...I mean, don't get me wrong, I probably do, but not for this.)

So then I start to realize, as a leader, should my Plan B involve offing myself for the cause? (: Red flag, right?

Well Bill offered an even better alternative, a Plan A if you will. When people are allowed to contribute to the vision then they feel apart of the vision. duh. Yeah, obvious now that I've heard it put in a wonderfully articulate and logical way. Funny how that works. And get this, not only will people be excited about it they may actually invest in it! crazy thought, I know.

...not to mention if it doesn't work out, I can always fall back on my shadow mission and become a wildly successful cult leader. Punch anyone?

Retraction

I would just like to take a moment to apologize to the very...well, I won't go that far, but the alive, all the same, Nancy Reagan.

http://www.deadoraliveinfo.com/dead.nsf/rnames-nf/Reagan+Nancy

You are not dead, and I guess it wasn't you that I remember being buried a few years ago. That was not very Republican of me to say. My apologies.

....and no, Mr.T has absolutely nothing to do with this...he has never once, to my knowledge, made an attempt on Nancy's life.

We're Obviously Bored, So I Say 'Bring Back The Crusades!'

Reposted from My Jewely...

Genuine help is welcome, but grandstanding Westerners don't see that we can help ourselves, says UZODINMA IWEALA

12:00 AM CDT on Sunday, August 5, 2007

Last fall, shortly after I returned from Nigeria, I was accosted by a perky blond college student whose blue eyes seemed to match the "African" beads around her wrists.

"Save Darfur!" she shouted from behind a table covered with pamphlets urging students to TAKE ACTION NOW! STOP GENOCIDE IN DARFUR!

My aversion to college kids jumping onto fashionable social causes nearly caused me to walk on, but her next shout stopped me.

"Don't you want to help us save Africa?" she yelled.

It seems that these days, wracked by guilt at the humanitarian crisis it has created in the Middle East, the West has turned to Africa for redemption. Idealistic college students, celebrities such as Bob Geldof and politicians such as Tony Blair have all made bringing light to the Dark Continent their mission. They fly in for internships and fact-finding missions or to pick out children to adopt in much the same way my friends and I in New York take the subway to the pound to adopt stray dogs.

This is the West's new image of itself: a sexy, politically active generation whose preferred means of getting the word out are magazine spreads with celebrities pictured in the foreground, forlorn Africans in the back. Never mind that the stars sent to bring succor to the natives often are, willingly, as emaciated as those they want to help.

Perhaps most interesting is the language used to describe the Africa being saved. For example, the Keep a Child Alive/"I am African" ad campaign features portraits of primarily white, Western celebrities with painted "tribal markings" on their faces above "I AM AFRICAN" in bold letters. Below, smaller print says, "help us stop the dying."

Such campaigns, however well intentioned, promote the stereotype of Africa as a black hole of disease and death. News reports constantly focus on the continent's corrupt leaders, warlords, "tribal" conflicts, child laborers and women disfigured by abuse and genital mutilation. These descriptions run under headlines like "Can Bono Save Africa?" or "Will Brangelina Save Africa?"

The relationship between the West and Africa is no longer based on openly racist beliefs, but such articles are reminiscent of reports from the heyday of European colonialism, when missionaries were sent to Africa to introduce us to education, Jesus Christ and "civilization."

There is no African, myself included, who does not appreciate the help of the wider world, but we do question whether aid is genuine or given in the spirit of affirming one's cultural superiority. My mood is dampened every time I attend a benefit whose host runs through a litany of African disasters before presenting a (usually) wealthy, white person who proceeds to list the things he or she has done for the poor, starving Africans.

Every time a well-meaning college student speaks of villagers dancing because they were so grateful for her help, I cringe. Every time a Hollywood director shoots a film about Africa that features a Western protagonist, I shake my head – because Africans, real people though we may be, are used as props in the West's fantasy of itself.

And not only do such depictions tend to ignore the West's prominent role in creating many of the unfortunate situations on the continent, they also ignore the incredible work Africans have done and continue to do to fix those problems.

Why do the media frequently refer to African countries as having been "granted independence from their colonial masters," as opposed to having fought and shed blood for their freedom? Why do Angelina Jolie and Bono receive overwhelming attention for their work in Africa while Nwankwo Kanu or Dikembe Mutombo, Africans both, are hardly ever mentioned?

How is it that a former mid-level U.S. diplomat receives more attention for his cowboy antics in Sudan than do the numerous African Union countries that have sent food and troops and spent countless hours trying to negotiate a settlement among all parties in that crisis?

Two years ago I worked in a camp for internally displaced people in Nigeria, survivors of an uprising that killed about 1,000 people and displaced 200,000. True to form, the Western media reported on the violence but not on the humanitarian work the state and local governments – without much international help – did for the survivors. Social workers spent their time and, in many cases, their own salaries to care for their compatriots. These are the people saving Africa, and others like them across the continent get no credit for their work.

Last month the Group of Eight industrialized nations and a host of celebrities met in Germany to discuss, among other things, how to save Africa. Before the next such summit, I hope people will realize Africa doesn't want to be saved. Africa wants the world to acknowledge that through fair partnerships with other members of the global community, we ourselves are capable of unprecedented growth.

Uzodinma Iweala is the author of "Beasts of No Nation," a novel about child soldiers.

Inner-view...

"Coming Next Week: New Wave Femmes

They are called the "New Wave Femmes" and lest you think they are the latest rage in punk rock, you wouldn't be close. Next week, founder Destiny Herndon-DeLaRosa joins Zero Gossip to talk about this new organization who's out to stop, or at least lay down a road block to sexism. I gotta say, she's pretty sassy!"

I don't know how I feel about being called sassy. Four year olds are sassy. Not to mention, right below this blurb is a sexy girl in a tiny bikini....should I protest my own interview?

Big Mac

Do any of you still have nightmares? I think I average about one really terrifying one every six months....hence why I am up and have been up since 4:45 this morning.

Abrahm and I bought our Mac yesterday and we were joking that this is the first time we've ever had anything "rob" worthy. He was talking about buying this Apple chain that locks the computer to your desk and I guess that took root somewhere in my subconscious.

So, my phone rings. It's about 11:45 and everyone is already in bed. It's a number that I don't recognize but I answer anyway. About that time Eiffel wakes up and comes in the living room; I guess the ring woke her. So I am on the phone, holding Eiffel and walking into my bedroom because I need something off of the computer. All of this racket wakes Abrahm up and so in a sleepy voice he keeps asking me who I'm on the phone with. I kind of snap at him because I'm trying to do so many things at once that I can't pay attention to him. I start walking into the living room and by this time Abrahm has gotten up and is following me. All of the sudden I notice that the door is cracked open. I freeze. At that same exact moment I hear Abrahm say "Oh my God, who are you?!?!?!" As I turn around I fall into a sitting position with the phone still firmly rested hands-free on my shoulder. I utter the words "...we're being robbed," and right at that moment I see the red beam from the gun quickly turn to me...holding Eiffel.

I woke up immediately, barely able to take a breath.

What A Weak!

I am exhausted. In the last month I have bitten off way more than I can chew....which is funny because the sermon series at church this month is all about simplifying your activities, and I swear I was listening...I mean, when I wasn't balancing my checkbook or updating my day timer.

I am just having a really hard time telling the difference between opportunities and obligations. Here's a list of everything that I have on my plate right now:

Mother to two, brilliant, active, little and medium kids

New webmaster and web designer for GCRW

New newsletter editor for GCRW

DGL for MOPS

Thursday morning theology student of Ally's

I run Archizilla, a dot com, from home

Saturday shift volunteer at Hope Resource Center of McKinney

Table talk leader for Coffee Talk

P.E.A.C.E. group leader

Founder, speaker, janitor for New Wave Femmes

Home-straightener

Wife

Occasional shower taker

How did I get myself into all of this?...well, I mean I know how I got into the first, and bottom three, but...

I just don't know how to say 'no.' I know how to say '...well, I don't want to let you guys down, but...,' and 'I just really don't think I can, but I'll try...,' and 'well, ok...I guess until you can find someone else....' While all of these thing contain the proper vowel and consonant selections to form the word 'no', somehow a lot of other letters crash the party and I end up with a blood shot eyes and constantly clinched teeth. No, seriously, I'm having terrible headaches because I'm loosing sleep over my schedule these days. I don't go to bed anymore...I just lie on a mattress and download. That's it. Even when my brain manages to reach a RIM sleep level, I'm still working... planning... organizing... revamping... rearranging... spell checking... scheduling.

I can either quote every other work-a-holic hard ass in the world and say, "I can sleep when I'm dead!" or I can obey my fearless Republican leader....Nancy Reagan and just say "NO!"

But how do I know what my real fearless leader wants for me? I feel like God is definitely preparing me for something so I can't just go around saying "yes" to the things I want and "no" to the things I don't; He may have something entirely different in His Will for me.

I felt like he very clearly told me the other day that I am suppose to commit to the things he has equipped me for...I mean, he has prepared me for a purpose. So I can continue moving at this fast pace, but I need to be moving with Him in the right direction. If this is happening He will give me peace. I believe that all of these leadership roles at church and with my group are on par with His plan for me.

Then we get to the GCRW's stuff. I am struggling with all of these tasks because I really don't know what I'm doing; I've not been equipped. It's like I'm juggling 15 apples, that's a lot, but hey, I'm an apple juggler, I can handle that....then suddenly someone throws in a banana. No matter how many apples I get rid off, that banana is still going to mess up the whole rhythm I have going...I am not a banana juggler.

All of my apples are falling and getting damaged due to this; I'm becoming the jack of all trades and master of none.

Soul For Sale

I finally broke down and got a MySpace for the group.

I loathe Myspace. They have trashy advertisements for singles dating services and Victoria Secret non stop, not to mention all of the porn vendors that caught on and now use MySpace as a way to scheme people into joining their sites. It's so contradictory to our message.

But after my last meeting, to which I will say, all 7 people (including myself) gave rave reviews...it's time to start pandering to the masses. I need members, I need to get the word out about the NewWaveFemmes.com, check your local listings, ha! So, indeed, IT IS DONE....He'd be turning over in his tomb right now...oh wait!...He's not there! Like how I just brought a little Easter Sunday to boring Tuesday. Your Welcome. I'll be here all week; please, tip your waitresses.

On a related subject, did you know that Satan has his own website?
http://www.wewantyoursoul.com/

If you do it let me know how it turns out....I'm devilishly curious.

I'm Ready, I'm Ready, I'm Ready...

Guess you had to see that episode.....5 million times.....to know the melody that Sponge Bob sings with those words. I find that I can never simply say "I'm ready..."with out the whole silly SB impersonation now. Who said motherhood didn't have its perks?!?

Either way, it rings true today. My first official New Wave Femmes meeting is tonight, and I'M READY! I woke up a bit anxious and feeling a little unprepared, but in an attempt to get down on paper what exactly the goal of the group is, I found inspiration in such a quirky place, the Planned Parenthood website.

I realized that they really do make your life simpler, because now I don't have to write a mission statement of my own; I can just steal theirs! And replace all of the "We are not's" with "We are's"!

Like take this one for instance:

"We are not going to be an organization promoting celibacy and chastity." ~Faye Wettleton, President of PP

"We are going to be an organization promoting celibacy and chastity." ~Destiny Herndon-DeLaRosa, Founder of NWFfl

Piece of cake! Who ever thought I'd benefit so much from a bunch of dried up old, aryan, bigots?

I am so excited! I really feel like I have some great stuff to present tonight, and I can't wait to get up there and take one step closer to my future as a 'not completely terrified' public speaker!

Tears For Fears

When is the last time you cried

for the unborn,

the preborn,

the never gonna be born?

When is the last time that you let what's going on in this country break your heart?

We guard ourselves because when we look at the numbers it's just too much to handle...too much to change.

I try so hard to fight this feeling of overwhelming insignificance in the battle for Life that I rarely take the time to cry out to God. Literally. Truly ache for these precious children.

Happy 21st Birthday Dutch Bag!

Yeah, I know...that's not how it's spelled.

Sucks having an inside joke with a box of ashes.

Oh well, happy birthday all the same. I had a dream the other night about you and you had aged. Your hair was shorter, still long, but shorter; your face had more character and looked older. I wonder if that was really you? Some people think that they will get to be 25 again in their resurrection bodies....so maybe God jumped you up to what your 25 year old body would have looked like. I miss you terribly and this all still feels like a bad dream, but I know that now I'm another year closer to seeing you again.

Ok, enough of that.

Happy birthday; I know it has to be the highlight of your death to be featured in my blog. Thanks for letting me use your memory to solicit sympathy from my friends. (:

I Am Sick Of America!

Happy 4th of July.

Lately I have been researching the struggles women go through overseas; how they are shot point blank in "honor killings", sold into prostitution, and raped at the age of twelve....then I have the audacity to turn on E.

How dare I.

I see this show called 'Suntan something...' and these ridiculous women are arguing over such insane nonsenses that I have a hard time readjusting my brain; I get cultural vertigo. I am ashamed to call myself an American woman. We are stupid! We have bleached most of the sense we are born with straight out of our brains and the rest we just pollute with silicone.

You know when you go and see a movie, and then after it is over as you are walking out you're almost surprised by the lack of mood music and play by play narration. You have to take a minute to adjust to what reality actually is. But why do I feel that way after watching 'reality T.V.'? I mean, I'm comparing apples with apples, right?

How can eastern civilization be so drastically different from western? As I count my blessings for being born here I often think, 'why am I who I am'? Am I a product of my environment or my experiences? Would I be better off if my character were tested more...on a far deeper level? I won't dare to say that I envy the torture that women overseas face. I live in a cushy suburban environment and I know that the biggest tragedy in my life would barely scratch the surface of women living even 30 minutes from me.

I recently met a women who's faith inspires me in such an immense way. She is a single mother and has three children who depend solely on her. With all of the stress she is constantly under the one constant in her life is her belief in God's faithfulness. Whether you are a friend or the person behind her in the grocery store she will testify to how Christ provides day in and day out for her needs. She is so elated by his blessings that she recently made this comment when asked 'so how do you guys like this warm weather' where she responded "well we don't have any air conditioning but since we have cement floors I just lay down on them and they are so cool!, God is good!' And she is right, he is! God is good! No, she is not in the minority of Plano norm, but compared to so many others in the world, she is blessed! I am blessed; you are blessed. God is good, sooooo good to us!

AMAZING ARTICLE!!! She Hit The Nail On The Head!

Christina Hoff Sommers: The problem with American feminists
Preoccupied with their own imagined oppression, they are of little help to the women of the world who most need it
The subjection of women in Muslim societies – especially in Arab nations and in Iran – is today very much in the public eye. Accounts of lashings, stonings and honor killings are regularly in the news, and searing memoirs by Ayaan Hirsi Ali and Azar Nafisi have become major best-sellers. One might expect that by now American feminist groups would be organizing protests against such glaring injustices, joining forces with the valiant Muslim women who are working to change their societies. This is not happening.
If you go to the Web sites of major women's groups – such as the National Organization for Women, the Ms. Foundation for Women and the National Council for Research on Women – or to women's centers at our major colleges and universities, you'll find them caught up with entirely other issues, seldom mentioning women in Islam.
It is not that American feminists are indifferent to the predicament of Muslim women. Nor do they completely ignore it. For a brief period before 9/11, many women's groups protested the brutalities of the Taliban. But they have never organized a full-scale mobilization against gender oppression in the Muslim world. The condition of Muslim women may be the most pressing women's issue of our age, but for many contemporary American feminists it is not a high priority. Why not?
The reasons are rooted in the worldview of the women who shape the concerns and activities of contemporary American feminism. That worldview is antagonistic toward the United States, agnostic about marriage and family, hostile to traditional religion and wary of femininity. The contrast with Islamic feminism could hardly be greater.
One reason is that many feminists are tied up in knots by multiculturalism and find it very hard to pass judgment on non-Western cultures. They are far more comfortable finding fault with American society for minor inequities (the exclusion of women from the Augusta National Golf Club, the "underrepresentation" of women on faculties of engineering) than criticizing heinous practices beyond our shores. The occasional feminist scholar who takes the women's movement to task for neglecting the plight of foreigners is ignored or ruled out of order.
Take psychology professor Phyllis Chesler. She has been a tireless and eloquent champion of the rights of women for more than four decades. In a recent book, The Death of Feminism, she faults the feminist establishment for "embracing an anti-Americanism that is toxic, heartless, mindless and suicidal." The sisterhood has rewarded her with excommunication.
But Ms. Chesler is right. In the literature of women's studies, the United States is routinely portrayed as if it were just as oppressive as any country in the developing world. Here is a typical example of what one finds in popular women's studies textbooks (from Women: A Feminist Perspective, now in its fifth edition):
The word "terrorism" invokes images of furtive organizations. ... But there is a different kind of terrorism, one that so pervades our culture that we have learned to live with it as though it were the natural order of things. Its target is females – of all ages, races, and classes. It is the common characteristic of rape, wife battery, incest, pornography, harassment. ... I call it "sexual terrorism."
The primary focus is on the "terror" at home. Katha Pollitt, a columnist at The Nation, talks of "the common thread of misogyny" connecting Christian Evangelicals to the Taliban. And on most American campuses there are small coteries of self-described "vagina warriors" looking for ways to expose and make much of the ravages of patriarchy.
Soon after 9/11, Ms. Pollitt wrote the introduction to a book called Nothing Sacred: Women Respond to Religious Fundamentalism and Terror . It aimed to show that reactionary religious movements everywhere are targeting women. Says Ms. Pollitt:
In Bangladesh, Muslim fanatics throw acid in the faces of unveiled women; in Nigeria, newly established sharia courts condemn women to death by stoning for having sex outside of wedlock. ... In the United States, Protestant evangelicals and fundamentalists have forged a powerful right-wing political movement focused on banning abortion, stigmatizing homosexuality and limiting young people's access to accurate information about sex.
Ms. Pollitt casually places "limiting young people's access to accurate information about sex" and opposing abortion on the same plane as throwing acid in women's faces and stoning them to death. Her hostility to the United States renders her incapable of distinguishing between private American groups that stigmatize gays and foreign governments that hang them. She has embraced a feminist philosophy that collapses moral categories in ways that defy logic, common sense, and basic decency.
Eve Ensler, lionized author of The Vagina Monologues, takes this line of reasoning to equally ludicrous lengths. In 2003, she gave a lecture at the Radcliffe Institute at Harvard University in which, like Ms. Pollitt, she claimed that women are oppressed and subordinate across the globe: "I think the conditions are exactly the same," she said.
Though Ms. Ensler's perspective is warped, her courage and desire to help are commendable. She went to Afghanistan during the reign of the Taliban and smuggled out now-famous footage of a terrified woman in a burqa being executed by a man with an AK-47. But her "feminist theory" obliterates distinctions between what goes on in Afghanistan and what goes on in Beverly Hills:
I went from Beverly Hills where women were getting vaginal laser rejuvenation surgery – paying $4,000 to get their labias trimmed to make them symmetrical because they didn't like the imbalance. And I flew to Kenya where [women were working to stop] the practice of female genital mutilation. And I said to myself, "What is wrong with this picture?"
A better question is: What is wrong with Eve Ensler? These two surgical phenomena are completely different in both scale and purpose. The number of American women who undergo "vaginal labial rejuvenation" is minuscule, and they are seeking relief from physical irregularities that cause them embarrassment or inhibit their sexual enjoyment. By contrast, more than 100 million girls and women have undergone female genital mutilation. The practitioners, in countries such as Egypt, Sudan, Ethiopia and Somalia, believe that removing sensitive parts of the anatomy is the best way to control young women's sexual urges and assure chastity.
These are priorities?
On February 20, 2007, a Pakistani women's rights activist and provincial minister for social welfare, Zilla Huma Usman, was shot to death by a Muslim fanatic for not wearing a veil. And he had a second reason for killing her: She had encouraged girls in her community to take part in outdoor sports.
The plight of women like Ms. Usman does not figure in the National Organization for Women's "Six Priority Items," although global feminism is one of the 19 subjects it designates as "Other Important Issues." NOW hardly mentions Muslim women, except in the context of the demand that the U.S. military withdraw from Iraq. So what sort of issue does the flagship feminist organization consider important?
NOW has just launched a 2007 "Love Your Body" calendar as part of its ongoing initiative of the same name. The body calendar warns of an increase in eating disorders and includes a photograph celebrating the shape of pears. There is also an image of the Statue of Liberty with the caption, "Give me your curves, your wrinkles, your natural beauty yearning to breathe free."
To breathe free, college women are encouraged to organize "Love Your Body" evenings. NOW suggests they host "Indulgence" parties: "Invite friends over and encourage them to wear whatever makes them feel good – sweat suits, flip flops, pajamas – and serve delicious, decadent foods or silly snacks without the guilt. Urge everyone to come prepared to talk about their feelings and experiences."
This is pathetic. To be sure, serious eating disorders afflict a small percentage of women. But much larger numbers suffer because poor eating habits and inactivity render them overweight, even obese. NOW should not be encouraging college girls to indulge themselves in ways detrimental to their well-being. Nor should it be using the language of human rights in discussing the weight problems of American women.
The inability to make simple distinctions shows up everywhere in contemporary feminist thinking. The Penguin Atlas of Women in the World, edited by geographer Joni Seager, is a staple in women's studies classes in universities. Ms. Seager, formerly a professor of women's studies and chair of geography at the University of Vermont, is now dean of environmental studies at York University in Toronto. Her atlas, a series of color-coded maps and charts, documents the status of women, highlighting the countries where women are most at risk for poverty, illiteracy, and oppression.
One map shows how women are kept "in their place" by restrictions on their mobility, dress and behavior. Somehow the United States comes out looking as bad in this respect as Uganda: Both countries are shaded dark yellow, to signify extremely high levels of restriction. Ms. Seager explains that in parts of Uganda, a man can claim an unmarried woman for his wife by raping her. The United States gets the same rating because, Ms. Seager says, "state legislators enacted 301 anti-abortion measures between 1995 and 2001."
Extreme becomes the norm
Hard-line feminists such as Ms. Seager, Ms. Pollitt, Ms. Ensler and the NOW activists represent the views of only a tiny fraction of American women. Even among women who identify themselves as feminists (about 25 percent), they are at the radical extreme. But in the academy and in most of the major women's organizations, the extreme is the mean. The hard-liners set the tone and shape the discussion. It is a sad state of affairs.
The good news is that Muslim women are not waiting around for Western feminists to rescue them. The number of valiant and resourceful Muslim women who are devoting themselves to the cause of greater freedom grows every day.
They have a heritage to build on. There have been organized women's movements in countries such as Iran, Lebanon, and Egypt for more than a century. And many women in Turkey, Morocco, and Tunisia already enjoy almost Western levels of freedom. But as radical Islam tightens its grip in places like Iran and rural Pakistan, even some devoutly religious women are quietly organizing to resist. Mehrangiz Kar, an Iranian human rights lawyer and a researcher at Harvard Law School, predicts that "a feminist explosion is well on its way."
The feminism that is quietly surging in the Muslim world is quite different from its contemporary counterpart in the United States. Islamic feminism is faith-based, family-centered and well-disposed towards men. This is feminism in its classic and most effective form, as students of women's emancipation know. American women won the vote in the early 20th century through the combined forces of progressivism and conservatism. Radical thinkers like Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Victoria Woodhull and Alice Paul played an indispensable role, but it was traditionalists like Frances Willard (president of the Women's Christian Temperance Union) and Carrie Chapman Catt (founder of the League of Women Voters) who brought the cause of women's suffrage into the mainstream.
The women who constitute the American feminist establishment today, however, are destined to play little role in the battle for Muslim women's rights. Preoccupied with their own imagined oppression, they can be of little help to others – especially family-centered Islamic feminists. The Katha Pollitts and Eve Enslers, the vagina warriors and university gender theorists – these are women who cannot distinguish between free and unfree societies, between the Taliban and the Promise Keepers, between being forced to wear a veil and being socially pressured to be slender and fit. Their moral obtuseness leads many of them to regard helping Muslim women as "colonialist" or as part of a "hegemonic" "civilizing mission." It disqualifies them as participants in this moral fight.
In reality, of course, it is the Islamic feminists themselves who are on a civilizing mission – one that is vital to their own welfare and to the welfare of an anxious world. A reviewer of Canadian human rights activist Irshad Manji's manifesto celebrating Islamic feminism aptly remarked, "This could be Osama bin Laden's worst nightmare." Ipso facto, it should be our fondest dream. And if, along the way, Islamic feminism were to have a wholesome influence on American feminism, so much the better.