Friday, October 12, 2007
PLEASE HELP PLANNED PARENTHOOD
Dear Sir or Madame,
I am writing you today to make you aware of the astonishing number of impoverished children, right here in America, that are forced to grow up without adequate levels of pornography in their households.
I know, it's hard to believe in 2007 that this is still an issue, right? You would think that we have made enough social advances in the world of advertising and cable television to fully satisfy this basic carnal need, but I am here to inform you that NO, WE HAVE NOT!
Many of these children have no internet access whatsoever in their households and are constantly being forced to learn about sex from their PARENTS of all people! You, as well as I, know that this must come to an end!
I encourage you, please, write you local congressman and ask them to increase the measly $305.3 million dollars a year that the government donates to this wonderful non-profit organization.
I mean, honestly, what can you do with a mere $305 million dollars? After performing 264,943 abortions in one fiscal year there is barely anything left for the phenomenal SEX ED classes they offer.
Did you know that there is ONLY a 27% chance of becoming pregnant if you use the 'pull out method?' Exactly! Neither do many of OUR children, and that is just not right. They should have full access to these helpful medical breakthroughs!
More funding is pertainent! It is the only way that they can continue to provide books like "It's Perfectly Normal," (which feature 71 excellent nude drawings) to our urban communities. Believe it or not, there are still some 10 year olds out there who know NOTHING about how cool homosexuality and masturbation are!
Without adequate amounts of pornography these children are 76% more likely to attend church, they are 90% less likely to become sexually active and experience the joys of commitment free sex, and in turn, these poor kiddos may never get to know the magical, life altering milestone of abortion! Atrocious.
DO NOT LET YOUR CHILD BECOME A STATISTIC.
Yours For Money,
Assistant Planned Parenthood Informant
P.S. Donations can also be made through the Susan G. Komen Foundation.
P.S.S. All of the statistics and amounts shown in this letter are accurate and factual, with the exception of the very last paragraph....but I have a feeling those are pretty close. (: