Wednesday, May 9, 2007

I'm So Thick Headed Some Times...

Yesterday was a particularly tiring day for me. Eiffel is fully experiencing her 'oneness' and it is wearing me out! What bothers me the most though, is when I express my frustrations to Abrahm and instead of him just comforting me he tries to 'fix' the problem. We ended up in an argument and he was telling me that it's hard for him to work so hard everyday so that I can stay at home just to be miserable. The thing is, I'm not! I love getting to stay home with Eif and I realize how blessed I am to have this opportunity but that doesn't mean that it's always easy. And when he has tough days at work I don't tell him to quit his job, I let him vent to me, ya know? I guess that's all I was looking for, and I didn't get it.

I had to get away; away from this place; away from the smell of baby; away from these two angelically sleeping kiddoes who I could hardly believe were such spazzes just hours prior. So I went to Wal-mart. That says a lot right there. Who goes to Wal-mart in an attempt to escape chaos? What happened next was such a "God thing" that I couldn't help but laugh.

I ended up running into an old friend from high school. He looked great on the outside but as I began to talk to him I realized he was a mess on the inside. He's only 23 and going through a divorce. His wife had cheated on him and now the fate of their 4 year old son was lying in the balance. I told him of my own experience and before I knew it God was really using me to give him hope. I told him that you can only be as happy as you allow yourself to be and this issue isn't insurmountable; I'm proof of that. While my husband does happen to be a saint, I still know through Christ all things are possible. What Abrahm and I went through ended up being such a sick, twisted blessing in disguise. It was the final straw in our relationship and it made us turn from a world-centered marriage to a God-centered marriage. If we had not survived my affair I honestly don't know that we would be where we are today. It allowed me to REALLY understand God's grace and mercy, along with showing me what kind of amazing (that word doesn't even do him justice) man of God my husband really is. So long story short, after about half an hour of sharing with this guy I realized that I was the one who came out of that conversation blessed. The anger in my heart towards Abrahm had been abundantly replaced with the deep, deep love and appreciation that I have for him. So good job God; point taken; lesson learned.

*On a side note, while in Wal-mart I found some disturbing merchandise. Read more about it at:

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