Tuesday, May 15, 2007

It's Time To Class Up The Waffle Haus...

Since I have no new and original thoughts for today I figured I would post an old blog that I wrote back when I had a MY-we love to demean women in all of our sexually objectifying advertisement-SPACE account; enjoy:

So this weekend I'm at the waffle house with my son, and it was only our second time to go there so I'm still a little unfamiliar with the rules and etiquette. But either way we are sitting there enjoying our chocolate chip waffles when this creepy, and I mean hitchhiker/serial killer/hillbilly truck driver walks in and sit down a seat away from Aiden. I usually give people a minute or two before I outright judge them based on their appearance, so he waves at Aiden and we say good morning, and then he asks the waiter if it's 'no smoking Sunday' again. The waiter told him that there's kids in here, and the guy says "people ain't got no business bringing there kids in here". Excuse me??? I didn't realize this was the Legs & Eggs buffet!
Ok, so I do understand that waffle house is the Mecca of truck driver breakfast dives but when you have to pass a Sam's Club and T.J. Maxx to get there...in the heart of Plano, I don't think it's the same one your grandpa used to take ya to. Well, either way the guy starts getting really angry, mumbles to himself, and then just gets up and storms out. As soon as he leaves Aiden asks me if that guy was mad at him and I had to explain to him that the guy was just a jerk.
But here's the deal, it REALLY ticked me off because even if there wasn't a kid in the whole joint can you really not go with out pumping nicotine into your body for 20 minutes, REEAAALLLY?!?!?! I, as you can tell, am not a smoker and it grosses me out to try to eat when I have a nose full of smoke. Smoke before you come in; smoke after you leave. Is it really that big of an inconvenience to not have a freaking cigarette in your mouth to flavor your hash browns!
My husband, who I'm convince just like to argue with me, was completely defending the sanctity of Waffle House and all of its timeless values. But how about this, sometimes that chocolate chip waffle goodness gives me gas. Would it be acceptable for me to sit around farting in The Waffle House? I would think not. And the only difference is: what I'm doing is actually healthy! Any habit that YOU have that effects an 8 foot radius around you is not only YOUR habit. You are forcing me to smoke your nasty cigarette too, so you just wait. Now since I do not possess the skill of being able to expel gas on command I told Abrahm that next time we go we're bringing his fart machine and if we get seated next to a chain smoker we're firing that puppy up. He told me to shut up and go back to IHOP because I'm not gansta enough to hang at Waffle House.....or gas station/Subways. Lame. I love my husband so much.

1 comment:

Julie said...

haha, I remember that.